True Valentine’s Story: Love, Traffic and Plastic Flowers

NAIROBI, Kenya – Valentine’s Day: a time for love, overpriced flowers, and, in my case, a well-intended disaster.

Seven years ago, I was determined to impress. I had planned everything—left Rongai early (because Nairobi traffic spares no one), dressed sharp, and hopped onto a loud nganya with lights flashing like a nightclub on wheels. 

The energy was high, the vibe was on, and I was ready to sweep my girlfriend (now wife) off her feet.

Then, reality hit. By the time I arrived in the CBD—9 p.m., slightly panicked—most flower vendors had packed up. But love waits for no man, right?

Between the Railway Bus Station and Archives, I spotted my last hope: a vendor selling artificial flowers. 

Now, if you’re Kenyan, you already know where this is going. Kenyan women loathe plastic flowers. But in my still-new-to-dating mind, I thought, Well, these will do.

Spoiler alert: They did not.

From Sweet Surprise to Silent Standoff

With the bouquet hidden behind my back, I walked up to my girlfriend, expecting a “Wow, babe, you’re so thoughtful!” Instead, she took one look at the flowers and… nothing.

Silence. A little side-eye. A whole lot of disappointment.

I stood there, utterly confused. I mean, weren’t flowers just flowers? Real, plastic, painted—same difference, right? Wrong. 

Turns out, in the hierarchy of romantic gestures, handing your girlfriend fake flowers is only slightly better than showing up empty-handed.

The night had officially taken a turn.

Operation: Damage Control

At this point, the Valentine’s magic had all but evaporated. The mood was tense, and I could practically see my relationship status flashing “at risk” in real time. 

But I wasn’t about to let one ill-fated bouquet ruin our first Valentine’s together.

So, I did what any self-respecting man in trouble would do—I cracked a joke.

It took a few tries (and maybe some extra chocolate at dinner), but eventually, she laughed. 

The tension eased, and the plastic flower debacle was downgraded from relationship crisis to hilarious inside joke.

And let me tell you—she has never let me forget it.

A Lesson (and a Plot Twist) for the Future

To this day, she randomly asks, “What exactly was going through your mind when you bought me plastic flowers?” And every time, we laugh about it.

Now, as our 10-year anniversary approaches, I’m seriously considering getting her another set of plastic flowers—just to see her reaction. After all, plastic lasts longer… unlike my dignity that night.

So, guys , take my advice: Go for fresh flowers if you can. But if you’re out of options, plastic is still better than nothing. Just prepare for some serious side-eye and a conversation you won’t live down.