Media personality and activist Adelle Onyango has spoken openly about the reasons her marriage ended, outlining specific deal-breakers and personal values that proved incompatible with her former partner’s expectations.
Onyango revealed that her ex-husband raised three main issues that, in his view, defined their marriage. She refused to have a child, take his surname, or wear her wedding ring.
According to her, these were deliberate decisions. She explained that motherhood was not something she wanted at the time, she preferred to retain her surname as part of her identity, and she did not view the ring as essential to prove commitment.
Her ex-husband, however, saw these actions as non-negotiable symbols of marriage, creating an irreconcilable difference between their perspectives.
Before the marriage, Onyango made it clear that Christmas would always be spent with her family. She tied this to her personal history and the importance of honoring her late mother’s memory.
“I told him, every Christmas has to be with my family. If that doesn’t work for you, then let’s not do this,” she said in an interview.
This condition later became another area of tension, as her commitment to maintaining personal traditions conflicted with expectations from her partner’s side.
Onyango described how both her physical home and her marriage stopped feeling comfortable. She explained that she increasingly felt like the kind of wife her husband wanted her to be was different from who she truly was.
“I didn’t feel like myself anymore,” she said. This feeling contributed to her decision to end the relationship rather than continue in an environment that no longer aligned with her identity.
Although the couple did not share children or large assets, Onyango explained that the divorce was still financially demanding. She revealed her legal costs totaled approximately KSh 200,000.
She also admitted that the process affected her health. She lost weight, experienced isolation, and struggled with the loneliness that accompanied the legal and emotional proceedings.
“The process is lonely,” she stated, highlighting the personal toll behind the separation.
After the divorce, Onyango sought therapy to deal with the emotional aftermath. She said that therapy not only helped her process the end of her marriage but also helped her unpack unresolved childhood experiences that influenced her approach to relationships.
Through this process, she gained a better understanding of her behavior and choices, acknowledging that healing required confronting difficult and uncomfortable truths.
Adelle Onyango has been clear that the end of her marriage stemmed from fundamental differences in expectations. The refusal to have children, take a new surname, or wear a wedding ring, coupled with her insistence on personal traditions such as Christmas with her family, created irreconcilable differences with her partner.