NAIROBI, Kenya- Kenyan gospel singer Rozinah Mwakideu has spoken candidly about the emotional and spiritual struggle she experienced after the collapse of her marriage, revealing that the painful chapter left her feeling angry with God and questioning her faith.
Speaking on the debut episode of her podcast, Crowned by Rozinah Mwakideu, the worship leader described how the end of her marriage triggered a personal crisis despite her strong Christian foundation.
Rozinah said she believed she should have been spiritually mature enough to navigate the situation differently.
“When I walked out of my marriage, I was already supposed to be very grounded in Christ and to know what I’m doing, what is right and what is wrong,” she said.
However, she admitted that the reality was far more difficult than she had anticipated.
“For me, I was angry with God. I was angry with life. I was angry at the way things turned out.”
A Night of Defiance
The singer recounted one evening when she deliberately acted out of character as she struggled to process her emotions.
She said she bought clothes she would not ordinarily wear, including what she described as a “sexy” top, tights and high heels, before going out for the night.
Reflecting on her state of mind, Rozinah said she consciously rebelled against both her circumstances and her faith.
“And God, don’t ask me questions tomorrow. Because I’m going to be bad,” she recalled telling herself.
She also revealed that she chose to drink several glasses of wine that night, describing the decision as an expression of the anger and frustration she was carrying.
“I said to myself that as I am here today… I am so angry and I’m going to drink.”
Looking Back With Gratitude
Looking back on that difficult period, Rozinah acknowledged how emotional pain can drive people towards self-destructive decisions if left unresolved.
In a social media post accompanying the release of the podcast, she reflected on the dangers of acting out while hurting.
“When we are hurting and angry, we can become self-destructive.”
Despite the emotional turmoil, the gospel artist said she believes God protected her during one of the darkest seasons of her life.
“I thank God for hiding and preserving me in that period of my life.”
A Message of Hope
By sharing her experience publicly, she said she hopes others struggling with heartbreak, anger and disappointment will know that healing is possible, even after a crisis of faith.
The debut episode of Crowned by Rozinah Mwakideu marks the beginning of what she describes as a platform for honest conversations about faith, life and personal restoration.